We're The Millers: Awful

Christmas is coming early for you people:  Skip "We're the Millers."  That's my present to you.  Skip it with a vengeance.  Skip it and never rent it.  Or Netflix it.  And never stop and watch it when it's on cable TV before the end of the week.

I knew going in that "We're the Millers" was getting terrible reviews.  But I couldn't leave well enough alone and I wanted to know why it was so bad.  I had two guesses:  Jason Sudeikis doesn't have the star power to carry a movie and Jennifer Aniston is box office poison.

I was right on both accounts.  And the fact that the movie has such a stupid premise it makes it difficult to comprehend someone thought it was a good idea to film this.

This movie is so bad that it doesn't even fall into the "It's so bad it's kinda funny" category.  Like "Road House" and "Turner and Hooch."  Nope, this one is just flat out awful.

Sudeikis is funny for about five minutes.  And then he gets real old, real fast.  And I once saw play at Lewis and Clark Elementary School where the girl playing Tree #2 had more acting range than Aniston.  Why do people continue to ask her to be in their movies?

This movie has one, minor, saving grace.  The guy who plays Ron on "Parks and Rec" is pretty funny as a straight laced Drug Enforcement Agent.  But that's like saying Denny Hocking was a solid utility man for the 1998 Minnesota Twins.  It's pretty hollow praise.

Anywho, skip this movie and spend the $8 on trinkets or those fake cigarettes that are actually gum.  They probably don't make those anymore.

We're the Millers

1 out of 5 stars

No treats, no beverages.  I had just been to Olive Garden, which is the biggest and most beautiful restaurant in all of Grand Forks.  I stopped gazing long enough at the beautiful architecture to eat a lot of food.  Something called Sausage and Peppers Rustica.  I think that's what it was called.  And two bowls of soup.